Random doodles

Most people when asked about their philosophy of travel will utter fairly trite statements about understanding the world or themselves. Others seem to go for the green approach and come out with phrases like "only take photographs, leave only footprints." Others may see it as a kind of great social adventure whilst others happily admit to it being one big hedonistic pursuit.

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The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer said "Man has but two choices, to be a happy animal or a suffering God."

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An existential crisis is a state of panic or feeling of intense psychological discomfort about questions of existence. It is more common in cultures where basic survival needs have been overcome.

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You are only what you deny you are

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Travellers n'er did lie
Though fools at home condemn em -- Shakespeare, The Tempest

Untitled Poem

Driving into the setting sun
watch it rise again
in the rearview
hours fly by
miles roll on
destination always the same
an escape
an arrival
hellos and goodbyes
always connected
but slightly removed
watching myself...

Visiting Kerala Kalamandalam

Woke up at 4:00AM and walked about 1.5km from the government guest house to the Kalamandalam campus at Vallatholnagar, on a wet empty highway.I was accompanying Dr. Richmond (a family friend) who was a student of Koodiyattam there in 1967. Kalamandalam is a residential. gurukula style school for performing arts of Kerala, founded by the poet Vallathol in 1930. If you can imagine a gurukula founded by a radicle poet, on a piece of land he owned by the river, to preserve and propagate local performing arts without institutionalizing them, then that is Kalamandalam. Incidentally Vallathol happens to be a good friend of my maternal great grandfather, who used to help him with his English translations. Interestingly my mom remembers Vallathol as the frail deaf old man, with whom everyone conversed using Kathakali mudras (gestures)!

The campus is a beehive of activity at 4AM. The various kalaris (small roofed open structures that are classrooms) are in full swing. The asans (respected teachers) are some of the leading performing artists of Kerala in their respective fields. All aspects of performing arts like Kathakali, Koodiyattam, Mohiniattam, Bharathnatyam etc are taught here...ie., the dance, singing, instrumental and makeup are taught. Those who know me can imagine the grin on my face as I write, only percussive instruments are taught...:) The morning air is rent with stattacco beats of the Chenda, Maddhalam, Thimila and the Mizhavu.

Barathnatyam and Mohiniyattam kalaris are the most populated (and have the hottest chicks!), and are going through their morning exercises. The various levels of drumming kalaris are in full swing with the drummers sweating it out. he most interesting this early in the morning are the Kathakali and Koodiyattam kalaris. They are going through their 'Uzhichal' (massage) and 'Netrabhinayas' (eye exercises). The boys are all dressed in loin clothes and dunked in oil. Then in pairs, the teachers and senior students massage everyone for a couple of hours...with their feet! Basically the boys are spread out against a wall in wierd, impossible angles, while the masseuses hold a few hanging ropes and walk all over them. The Koodiyattam boys have some sort of oil poured in their eyes (which make them blood red), and are being taught to write alphabets with their eyeballs! I saw one of the teachers do this move in which his left eyeball was stationary, while his right eyeball moved horizontally...

The daily schedule for the dancers goes something like this...

• 4AM - 6AM - Massage/Exercises
• 6AM - 8AM - Eye exercises/Facial expressions
• 8AM - 10AM - Shower/Breakfast
• 10AM - 1PM - Regular dance classes
• 1PM - 3PM - Lunch break
• 3PM - 6PM - Regular school teaching English, Malayalam, Sanskrit etc
• 6PM - 8PM - Regular dance classes
• 8:30Pm - Dinner

For the drummers, they just bang drums all day long, sometimes accompanying dance classes, and sometimes working on their solos. The Chutti kalari (Makeup) had hundreds of clay pots to which the students were applying makeup. There is also a big Koothambalam (Performance space), which is designed exactly like the one at Wadakkunnathan temple in Thrissur.

Some information is available at http://www.kalamandalam.org/home.asp

On having a tarantula for a smoking companion

We live in 'sanitised', poured concrete alien landscapes, unconnected to the earth. The only vegetation we come across are confined to pots, and carefully manicured gardens, with plants of 'our choice', in fumigated surroundings. When I step out of this-world we confine ourselves in, two things strike me. One, green is the most predominant color in this world, and two, insects are the most diverse of nature's children. Mosquitoes, beetles, spiders, butterflies, caterpillars, silk worms, lizards, and a million others, that in my ignorance cannot put a name to.

I stayed a week at my aunts in Trivandrum, in the company of my aunt and grandmother. It was a close confinement, and the only privacy I had was when I chose to sleep outside on the swing - 'Aattu Kattil' (Aattu - swinging; kattil - bed). I had to use the toilet out the back at night, as I would be locked out. I primarily used it for rolling and smoking my nightly mixture. The first night I stepped into this elaborate spider web built across the door, in a bid to catch anything that came in. Needless to say I destroyed most of it that day. Over the next week, I got acquainted with the architect of the silken thread, a tarantula. I do not know if an entomologist, would classify it as a tarantula, but it was big and hairy, and hence I use the word 'Tarantula' as a proper noun, in my human nature's compulsive need to name/label things. Incidentally the only entomologist who comes to mind is the Japanese guy in Teshigara's movie Woman of the Dunes, who metaphorically gets imprisoned in a sand pit that he cant get out of!

I've thought about what Tarantula thought of me, who intruded to create a few minutes of intoxicating environment every night. It was a daily ritual to try and find a way inside, without getting trapped in the web, and trying not to destroy it either. I looked into each of its eight eyes, eight windows into its insect brain, attempting communication. What a stange world it must live in! Did my Tarantula friend see different aspects of the same thing, or does it see more detail of the same aspect, with its eight eyes? Or did simply see the bare minimum it needs of this world that it requires to survive?

Resurrection

This laziness in flexing my writing muscles and in connecting the uncountable thoughts is deplorable! Sometimes I think I might be scared, and at other times thoughts of incapability and possibility of shallowness plague my mind. Well with this post, I am Lazarus resurrected again, so to speak.

Is it really necessary to communicate? I remember writing about leaving markers for those who might chance upon it. I have stumbled upon some myself, and felt connected. Thoreau and Hesse come to mind. But I digress, and as usual get caught in meta-statements and plugged sentences.

To make a list of things I intended to write about during the past two couple of months, might aid in action after resurrection.

• On having a tarantula for a smoking companion
• Divine percussive instruments of Kerala
• Sanskrit drama - Koodiyattam
• Encounters with old age
• A Tamil classic - Ponniyin Selvan (Son of Ponni)

This Lazarus intends to be back more regularly now....

Daily rituals

Its my star birthday today, and like everyday went to the temple at 630AM with my grandmom. She goes to 3 different temples on 3 days of the week, to make special prayers for me. I asked what she prayed for, and she said marriage if it is right for you, and 'nalla buddhi' which rougly translates to 'good mind'. I cant argue with that, and so I join her in her early morning jaunts.

Another everyday ritual is to go to this great grand uncle's house everyday around 11ish to read him The Hindu from cover to cover. It takes about 2 hours, since he is more than half blind and deaf. Then follow it with a few pages of a translation of Natyasastra, written originally by Sage Baratha. This is great training if I deciede to take over the world with my oration! This great grand uncle happens to be a well known scholar on Theatre arts and music of Kerala. Have been researching the history of some percussion instruments of Kerala, and its fascinating. As the plan goes, I leave for Trivandrum to meet a more insistent grandmom for a week. Then come back to Thrissur to start Maddhalam lessons.

Afternoon naps are the best! I almost always wake up dazed and stay that way for 10 - 15 minutes. It takes some time for the cognitive part of the mind to get back to being in control. Afternoon naps take you to new depths of relaxation and chillness. Evenings, I walk to the city library and read some, and generally walk around town, meet old relatives, do minor work in the garden etc. No great revelations, inroads into philosophies, or 'fantastic' things to do...just the comforting drone of walking leisurly through these daily rituals.

Where am I?

A week in the Chennai pot boiler, outside and inside my head. I ride off towards Thrissur, Kerala tomorrow morning. There I gotta make plans to survive and travel during the South West monsoon. This is the time when the Roman galleys of the old would have been making preperations to brave the unknowns and ride the wind home. Me, I will be trying to resolve my personal contradictions at the roots, and preparing for a journey that might show me reality in a different light.